


Angels Anonymous

by drdean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Funny, I Don't Even Know, I didn't write this - Freeform, M/M, Wing Kink, my husband did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:31:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13259832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drdean/pseuds/drdean
Summary: I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!! My husband did as a joke. It terrible and fucking hilarious.Dean has a problem. He can't look at wings without jizing in his pants.





	Angels Anonymous

**Author's Note:**

> I DID NOT WRITE THIS. My husband did. But he didn't want to put the time into editing. I have made some small edits for ease of reading and grammar, but I didn't want to really change anything. Its pretty funny, but I wish he would really work on fixing it up. He keeps hassling me to post it so you all get it as is.
> 
> HE WILL SEE ALL COMMENTS AND KNOW ABOUT ALL KUDOS. They will make him very happy. You can also tell him he needs to get his act together and fucking edit and I will laugh at him. 
> 
> He has watched supernatural, but only up to season 6. He has never written fanfic before, and I don't think he has written fiction at all. He doesn't read fanfic either and this is what he thought wing kink was without me explaining it too him. Originally this was going to be for my ABO SPN Bingo for the wing kink square, but he didn't hit the ABO part.
> 
> UPDATE: So apparently he didn't like my summary, he wanted readers to figure that part out as they read, but he didn't ask me to change it. He also didn't understand why he didn't hit ABO "But one of them gets fucked! Isn't that ABO??" (no sweetie its not). Also "I thought you were going to edit it for me!" 'I did a bit, but I didn't want to do major edits without you.' "Whines" 
> 
> He is loving all the comments and feedback, and totally gets pouty when people agree with me about the editing.

The sun is setting on an intolerably sticky Thursday late into the hell season of Florida’s summer. A 67 Impala creeks to a stop at the light. The windows are down but they are just a placebo attempt at keeping cool. A flock of regal white Ibis can be heard overhead…”... ohhhh uhjggghhhh….fuck!” said Dean “Not AGAIN!... God DAMN IT!” The light turns green and he speeds off down the road a few levels beyond irritated. “I need a burger” he snaps at Sam. 

“No what you need is help DEAN….This needs to stop you obviously have a problem.” Sam worried for his older brother sighs and stares out the window in frustration unaware of anyway he could help. “Dean would it help to talk about it?” 

“Hell No Sam I am a man and you’d be best to stay out of this”. Just as Sam had resigned to offering up aid, they pass a church with a sign reading: AA meeting Thursdays all welcome. “Dean THERE look you don't have to tell me try talking your problem with strangers maybe that would be better?”. 

“Sam I am not going to waste my time whining to a bunch of babies who can't hold their liquor!”. All of a sudden as if the divine spirit himself had listened in, an enormous herin flutters in front of the Impala forcing Dean to lose control and careen into the church parking lot. “FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK…..”

Sam said. “so dean about those babies”’

........”Fine, fine, if it stops you pestering me any more fine” and Dean slams the door, angry. Frustrated and dripping sweat. 

Dean enters with a BANG of the doors….. An elderly man with a scraggly beard offers him refreshments as he passes the table of stale off brand oreos and burnt coffee… “No i’m good. I brought my own”. He then slips out a steel flask from his pocket and swigs a long draw. “I'm gonna need all the help I can for what I'm about to share”.

With a look of sheer determination. muddled with embarrassment and fear, Dean strolled quickly to the podium, pushing a middle aged lady rambling on about why boose ruined her life and so on blah blah blah out of hs way…. and took one last swig of courage juice as the entire room’s eyes set upon him errrhhhh his bottle. 

“My name is Dean.”

Echoes of response rumble to life warily from the now interested (and thirsty) crowd. “I have a problem”.

“No shit asshole” mumbles the lady he knocked over to get at the podium.

Determined to press on he shakes off her response and begins to explain his story. 

“The only way to explain my… well….ailment is to tell you my biggest secret, I fell in love with an angel.” I ain't into dudes or nothing but this angel is shaped like a man”, 

Obviously assuming Dean to be drunk, a member of the crowd mutters “looks like this is gonna be one of them entertaining stories glad I made it for the meetin’.”

“I don't know how it happened he swooped into my life, held me in his arms and shared with my one of the most beautiful poems I have ever heard. I'm not sappy or nothin but it just stuck with me..” Dean took a deep breath… “well fuck it. I'm not gonna see any of you the fuck a again so here it goes. There once was an angel named Cas, who liked to stick up wings up my ass, he would flutter about but then pull them out which always made me pass gas. With a tear lingering at the corner of his eye, Dean noticeably moved by his recount of the sensual verses, shuddered back to form. 

Stifled giggles made their rounds about the old church, but Dean had already shared too much to back down. You have been to hell, what is a few giggles compared to torture he told himself. 

“Cas was good to me. We would scissor for hours, my legs tangling up in the down fluff of his majestic wings. And he would recite poetry  which of course were all heavenly till I fell asleep.” Dean chuckled to himself at his bad angel pun. “Now we come to my problem, after being stuffed like a rich kids teddy bear with those wings, I can't walk into a pet store without nutting my britches at the first sign of a god damn parakeet!”


End file.
